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This movie had some impressive imagery at times, but overall it was downright awful.
Eek ! Please , mommy , make the speculative movie stop !
Okay , now that my inner shaver has enunciate what it wanted to say , permit me start out by talking about the director of this cinematic train wreck , Tarsem Singh . harmonize toIMDB , he has n’t had much of a feature film career since directingThe Cell , which should n’t come as a surprisal to anyone who has seen it . I ’m sure Singh did a great job with the commercial and medicine videos that defined his former vocation , but as a feature film motion picture director , he created a real mess . I must admit , the imagery inThe Cellis very impressive , but that ’s only one of many components required for a pic to really shoot it out of the park . I have always found Jennifer Lopez underwhelming as an actress , but here she seems nearly comatose . Vince Vaughn did such a neat job inSwingers , but you would n’t know it by view this movie . He ’s positively slumming it here . I was dead floored when I read that Roger Ebert thought this was one of the good movies of 2000 . Did he see another film calledThe Cellthat I did n’t hear about ?
Sometimes I ’m not sure what to cogitate of Jennifer Lopez ’s calling . She pull ahead recognition as a Fly Girl onIn surviving Color , then she became a bona fide whiz after her breakout performance inSelena , making her the first Latina actress to clear $ 1 million for a moving picture role . With luck and endowment squarely on her side , what movies did she choose to observe up her star - making functioning ? Of naturally , she opt two stinkbombs — AnacondaandU - Turn . astonishingly , I have find the legal age of her movie choices to be anywhere from mediocre to downright awful . For everyOut of SightorAn Unfinished Life , there is aGigliorThe Cellto balance it out . So it ’s not surprising that in most of her movies , she strikes me as the wrong casting choice for that role . That was certainly on-key ofThe Cell . But before I originate getting all the hatred mail and destruction threats from mass who think I ’m wrongly hating on their idolise J - Lo ™ , I should summate that there are quite a few gifted actors who are altogether squander in this movie .
Most of the film happens in a enquiry facility whose enquiry is funded entirely by the rich parent of the adeptness ’s only patient , a comatose boy . The readiness has some sort of equipment that set aside Catherine Deane ( played by Jennifer Lopez ) to literally go inside people ’s heads . Interestingly , once she ’s inside their head , everything appear like it belongs in a Nine Inch Nails video . Naturally , Catherine has two sidekicks ( played by Marianne Jean - Baptiste and Dylan Baker ) who make for behind the setting and constantly discourage her to obviate fail too far inside the boy ’s point , whatever that means . ( The movie must have been going too far inside my head , because I was stupefy a headache at that stage . ) Catherine has had limited success in her interactions with the comatose boy , but before you could say " Where ’s the fast - forward release ? " we find out that FBI Agent Peter Novak ( played by Vince Vaughn ) has a second affected role for her .
Carl Stargher ( played by Vincent D’Onofrio ) is a successive killer . But Carl is n’t just your tally - of - the - pulverisation , garden mixture serial killer . He has a advanced cell where he keep his distaff dupe . There is a water line into the cellular telephone that turns on for a little time every now and then . After about two day of this , the body of water stays on until the cell fills whole with water and drowns his victim . Although he ’s not there at the prison term , he has several TV cameras to record all the fun . After the dupe is dead , he wind himself above the dead body using a serial of ring that are pierced into his back ( ! ) , start toy back the tape recording and does some affair that are rather unbecoming of a gentleman while he watches the mag tape . In other word , he is a seriously tired of dude . It turns out that the FBI ’s probe has pass them to suspect Stargher of invest the murder . They also discover that another charwoman has gone miss , and they suspect that Stargher has abducted her . Based on their knowledge of his methods , they know that the current victim has less than two day to live unless they can get Stargher .
To the FBI ’s surprise , Stargher is at home when they raid his place , but there are two problems . First , his current dupe is not there . secondly , Stargher has by chance relapse into a coma , so there ’s no way for him to tell anyone where she is . That ’s why Agent Novak contacts Catherine Deane — to see if she can get inside Stargher ’s head and see if he can tell apart her where the FBI can find the current dupe before she drowns . She agrees , but needless to say , the interior of Stargher ’s head is a messed - up seat . As with most serial killers , he had a childhood that put the " fun " in " nonadaptive . " What ’s even more incredible is that Deane really get to emphatize with Stargher , much to the dismay of her sidekicks , who are afraid that she will go too far inside his head . Seriously , once she go inside his read/write head , it ’s like a big fuzz after that . I remember a cow getting sliced up , Catherine falling down some hole and a dude with horns . ( Do n’t worry , it wo n’t make sense after you look on it either . ) Otherwise , I did n’t really know what the heck was go on , although the visuals were impressive . There are so many question at this point in the story . Will Catherine redeem the mean solar day by doing her Vulcan mind melt with Stargher ? Will she be able to enter Stargher ’s thinker without doing hurt to her own nous ? Will the FBI be able to save the current victim before she drowns ? Will the audience care ? As usual , I wo n’t give away the ending , but I will say that the final outcome hale me to wonder why it was so utterly necessary to contrive Jennifer Lopez in this film ( apart from getting people into theater seat , of course ) .
Okay , I ’ve done quite a little of J - Lo bop ; now we move on to Vincent D’Onofrio . Vincent , Vincent , Vincent … Et tu , Vincent ? Ever since I first saw his performance as Private Pyle inFull Metal Jacket , he has been one of my favored actors , but I would love to know what in the earth possessed him to star in this crapfest . ( On second opinion , maybe I do n’t want to have intercourse . ) I guess it could be fence that his role as Stargher was challenge for him and allowed him to stretch his power as an actor , but so wouldHamlet . With such a foresighted and distinguished career as his , could n’t he have choose something best thanThe Cell ? And Vince Vaughn … you know , make out to think of it , his vocation has a few similarity to Lopez ’s vocation . He had a breakout performance inSwingers , then he follow it up withThe Lost World . That was a sassy move , but then his follow - up undertaking wereReturn to Paradise , Clay Pigeonsand a mediocre remake ofPsycho . Huh ? Do n’t get me wrong ; Vince Vaughn is a talented thespian , but you would n’t acknowledge it by watchingThe Cell . He might as well have phoned it in .
Bottom line , this movie suffer from an underwhelming script , a miscast lead actress and direction that could liberally be described as weak and ill-conceived . If you like telling visuals without a compelling story to go along with them , take hold of a bag of popcorn and your favorite two - liter and savor . But if you demand an intelligent , coherent storyline along with strong acting performances and competent direction , The Cellis not the movie for you .
